Father’s Day Without my Father

 “The quality of a father can be seen in the goals, dreams and aspirations he sets not only for himself, but for his family.”

~ Reed Markham ~

 

At my father’s funeral, I concluded my tribute to him with the words, “You are forever in our hearts, and forever on our minds”. I meant every word. One year has passed since the passing of my father; and let me tell you, I couldn’t forget his awesomeness if I tried. He was the hardest worker, most intelligent (I kid’ you not), and my biggest spoiler.

Daily, weekly, monthly: I miss the little things about him. I yearn for his phone calls, his comfort and his advice. I miss how his face would light up when I walked into a room, I miss his beautiful smile, and the way he would train me up to emulate his professional passion, consistency and diligence. I feel nostalgic when I remember how my door in his car had child lock activated (even when I was in university); I only wish I could witness him being a gentleman one more time while opening doors for me.

One year has passed since the passing of my father. Things haven’t gotten easier. Some days are better than others. Some days I feel alone even when there are so many people around me who have explicitly told me that they are here whenever I need them. Most days I desperately crave my father’s advice, some days I see his wisdom still lives on within me. But I have learnt that the greatest way to pay tribute to my father is to continue embracing and living out the lessons that he taught me.

This Father’s Day is my second without a father. Last year, this time, I was still in mourning and struggling with my relationship with the Heavenly Father. I couldn’t understand how God would tell me (in Matthew 7:7) that I could ask and it will be given; but when I asked Him to heal my Daddy, He didn’t. I was angry with Him for months; I guess I needed to be angry at someone and the doctors did not fit because they seemed to have done all that they could. And besides, they are mere mortals who cannot be compared to God. Today, it is safe to confess that my anger has ceased. I am healing; it is a long process, but I now understand that everything happens for a reason and God has got my back.

To conclude: despite my father’s absence, life has been bright because of the beautiful things that he put in place. Indeed, the quality of a father can be seen in the goals, dreams and aspirations he sets not only for himself, but for his family. Because of the life that he lived, I am proud and reminded daily that I have to be extraordinary because that is what my father was.

To Chisanga Chungu, I say, Happy Father’s Day. May you continue to rest in power!

Forever in our hearts and forever on our minds.